But I don’t want to start this stage and I’m not sure I even agree with what my counselor has assigned for homework this week. I’m trying to decide if I am fighting it because it will be difficult, or because I think it will be stupid. I am so annoyed right now it is feeling like the latter is more likely.
Counselor looked over my white coats distress list and said we should start with an item that has about 20-30 SUDS rating. It should also be something I can do daily for about 20-30 min to see a reduction in my SUDS rating with more exposure over time. Ok…makes sense in theory.
She selected my event of calling doctor’s offices to make appointments. Hmm…my first thought is I don’t have that many appointments I need to make, and how on earth is a phone call supposed to last 20-30 minutes? And my distress is not related to speaking on the phone itself, it is about the quick decision of committing to something on the calendar. And it is low distress, not something I avoid or even get too concerned about. This seems pointless to work on except I know it eases me into the process for tackling higher distress items.
So she actually recommended that I create reasons to extend my phone calls, like asking the receptionist to wait while I grab my purse or answer the door. I really can’t bother and annoy these poor people with fake situations. I won’t do that. I think it is silly.
She also recommended calling and making fake appointments, then calling back and canceling. This feels like lying and seems a waste of everyone’s time. How is my distress supposed to go down if I am worried about lying and the situation is not authentic? I don’t like this. It seems like she is force fitting this ill advised plan, and my confidence in her is considerably shaken.
I don’t see the benefit to her plan.
I will go ahead and schedule some appointments that need scheduling and document my calls, using my new skills and awareness while I call. I will complete a challenging beliefs worksheet for any stuck points I encounter.
But I refuse to make fake phone calls and stall while on the phone just to log air time. The science isn’t sound here…can’t connect the dots.