Migraine system overload

I seem to have an emergency stop button, instead of staples big red easy button somewhere in my brain I have a kill switch. With very little warning, other than sudden extreme fatigue, and a sense of complete overwhelm and being unable to make a  simple decision ,(like what sounds good for dinner) my brain ceases to function. I get so sleepy I go find the nearest spot to lay down.

Today I did not sleep as long, maybe an hour, but still awoke with right side pain, twitches and weakness. All minor in comparison to what it could be. Took some motrin, aspirin and coffee and rubbed my arm.

This attack was not accompanied by any memories or flashbacks. Prior to the overwhelm feeling, I was planning my schedule and looking at the calendar for the next few weeks. The PTSD intensive therapy program finally has an opening and I was figuring out how to get there and have kids taken care of. This program is going to be 9 hrs a week of therapy, plus nearly 6 hrs of driving there and back. Lots to arrange.

And then kiddos have social events on the calendar, other sports stuff, dentists, and then oh wow school will be starting….

I only had one underlying thought. I can’t. What if I can’t keep up. I can’t do all of this. They need me too much. How can I go and be all vulnerable and wiped out in intensive therapy and have anything left for my kids?

I’m not enough. I already feel empty.

Then hubby said to everyone we were going out to eat. Kids said yay!  I couldn’t see how I could possibly brush my hair I was so tired, just had to lay down.

Can these negative thoughts trigger a migraine ? I was out instantly. I woke up to hubby making dinner in the kitchen and a very grumpy kiddo giving me some guilt.

Hubby and I seem to tease and torment kiddos, never being connected or on same page. I wish he could see the migraine coming on and didn’t announce to kiddos about dinner. We did have a teachable moment about not always getting what you want or expect and how to handle disappointment… But it didn’t change how I felt inside, so stupid and weak.

8 thoughts on “Migraine system overload

  1. My sister does that, too. I also recognize the shut down, only mine includes becoming quite cold. Actually, I use the sensation of cold as my early warning. You’re not crazy. Sorry I can’t be more help than that.

    • Sometimes I do get very cold along with the sudden feeling of having to sleep. like every process has stopped, no more energy for anything. I used to be able to delay the crash, push through until it was more convenient, but not these ones, it is like someone has pulled the plug, so odd

  2. I used to suffer a lot from migraines until the Doc gave me a med routine to follow whenever I feel one coming on. You may or may not know this, but recent research into migraines noticed that we have excess fluid in our tummy during an attack and therefore taking painkillers are almost ineffective due to the drug not properly absorbing into our stomach. I was told to take a couple of anti sickness tabs and then 20-30mins later take the painkiller and repeat 4hrly if necessary. What the anti-sickness pill does is drain your tummy of fluid, making the painkiller absorb effectively. It was a real turn-around time for me and has saved me many hours in a darkened room and, yes, I do believe memories, trauma, etc, is enough to trigger a migraine and you may find they get worse during therapy, as mine did.

    That is a huge commitment for therapy. My programme is 1.5hrs of group therapy and 50mins individual. I find that intense, but well worth every second. However, you have kiddies to take into consideration and this won’t be easy. How long is the prog for?

    • I’m so glad you shared the part about the extra fluid. I’ve been watching my weight more closely and have noticed that I can go up about 5 pounds prior to a migraine, which must be rapid be fluid retention. I get swollen extremities, ankles, wrists, face, and yes my tummy too will bulge tightly. They put me on magnesium to help with bloating and also as a calcium channel blocker. What is an anti-sickness tab ingredient? I’d like to ask my doctor about that for sure!

      They said a minimum of 6 weeks for this program, but most people go longer before graduating. It is specifically for ptsd, and then my group will also be rape and sex abuse survivors. I have no idea what to expect, want to be hopeful, but that’s so difficult, as you know. I’m going into it with an open mind which is all I can do. I’m ready to do the hard work, and I have my in laws to help care for the kids while I’m there and when I need a break. It’ll work somehow. I’m focused on getting to and completing day one next week, and trying not to worry about the rest yet.

      • Your plans for therapy are spot on and it sounds like you are really ready and prepped. I am sure it will be tough, groups can be complicated, but it is worth it in the end. The initial days will be the worst and the times when you don’t feel like going are the times when you need to attend the most and, believe me, something powerful happens when we go through this process.

        Your Doc will have a better idea of what anti-sickness is best, there are loads and some with not so nice side effects, maybe ‘over the counter’ medications might do the same job

  3. Perhaps, you could ask that hubby work with you on this one. When you feel one coming on he take over. You start to track the signals, let him know what they are so he can help you track them. Start to write them down, see if there is a pattern. If you can establish there is a pattern you can start to focus on early intervention. I find sometimes if I can attack the pattern, feel as if I am controlling something I can then start to feel more effective in other areas of my world.

    • Yes we’re trying to do this, to find the patterns and take control. I used to be in control when I had ‘normal’ migraines and it was predictable and I knew what to do to prevent a full blown attack. But since these hemiplegic paralysis migraines hit me I have lost control and there seem to be no patterns, especially when we introduce new meds nothing is stable yet. I do have a journal in a google calendar as well as this blog to document and find those patterns. As fascinating as these symptoms are, I intend to defeat them!

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