Whats happening to me

Killer headache pain. Visual disturbance with trails and flashes.

And now – the entire right side of my body, right eye/cheek, right arm, right mid-section, right leg goes into spasm. The spasms aren’t that painful unless I try to fight it, then it clenches up. I used to get this quite often in my right leg from the damaged nerve in lower spinal cord. This is the first time anything above that injury has joined the party.

I drove myself to my counselor yesterday, no headache or major eye trouble, my right arm still hurting from friday’s event, but I was being very careful and mostly driving with left arm and right arm only to assist. Not too stressful meeting, actually quite positve and we were making plans.

Hallfway home while driving, it felt like someone threw a brick at my head. No dull pain slowly building up, it was WHACK! And then the familiar migraine stuff, nausea, light was too bright, had to turn off radio. I considered pulling over, but I knew it would only get worse without meds and I was only 10 min from home. So I kept going. Maybe that was stupid, I think my reflexes were slow as a few people beeped horns at me.

Made it home and stepped out of car, noticed extreme weakness in my right leg, not the usual weakness, it was like how it was 15 years ago. I limped inside holding my head, opened medicine cupboard and could not read anything. Asked hubby to get me excedrin (I don’t have rx migraine meds because I havent had migraines like this in over a decade). I pulled myself upstairs to bed, and starting panting. migraines and nausea always make me breathe fast, not sure why.

Hubby brought up pills and ginger ale, and when I reached for it my arm started shaking, just like friday. I also felt twitches in my right side and tummy, sharp and quick like hiccups, making me gasp each time, like a hiccup. the spasms extended to my right leg that curled up tight, unable to loosen. The pain in my head felt like that brick was lodged in my skull. Hubby brought me ice pack and helped me lay down and extend my leg. If someone else pulls on it, it can straighten. trying to use a spastic muscle only makes it tighten more.

I got it to calm down by centering myself and thinkiing about NOT moving. Then I thought…


And then I started laughing, weird, out of control giddy laughing. Nothing was funny. But the laughing felt great on top of the pain, but was scary at the same time. Never done that before. I thought, ok this is it.

You broke your brain.

Then a rational thought appeared somehow.

Ok I have the zanaflex from the ER, should I take that even though doc started me on high dose of medrol? Hubby brought me phone to call dr. She said yes, take the zanaflex and if things werent calming down in 20-30 min to go to ER.

30 min, things were calmer, execedrin/ice reduced head pain to the level of a normal bad but tolerable headache. I drifted off to sleep, no choice but sleep on zanaflex.

Woke up 4 hours later, feeling mostly ok, but right everything hurt and head was dull ache too. Started googling since I don’t see the neuro until next week.

Hemiplegic migraine, or epilepsy, or MS or other lesions on spinal cord or in brain. Did I damage something in my neck, did something happen or move in the rods or clamps or bone fusion on my spine or is this all brain generated now? I will not self-diagnose, but I know enough now to analyze and document to present to doctors to have any chance of help.

I’m a little twitchy today, a little nauseous, a little ouchy but didnt take zanaflex so I could work a bit this morning. Thought about half a pill… but I really need to stay awake. I’ll take one tonight for sure. Feeling my 6am motrin wearing off, gonna keep up on that until doc says otherwise.

Something autoimmune might explain the tendon inflammation and the odd allergy and hives. I no longer believe this is all PTSD, although I do fear my brain may be involved in some way. The first attack was triggered friday after some light yard work – no headache pain with that one. Yesterday was while driving. I am now very concerned and afraid to drive. This was so sudden, I don’t want to hurt anyone. Grandma is picking up the kiddo today, yay for Grandma again.

So I hate meds, and here I am full of them and likely to get a slew more to control whatever this new thing is. Some dx are better than others, but honestly I could not find any curable or not serious reason for the right side of your body to get weak and spastic. So family doc is doing blood tests, going to general neuro next week and likely on to spine specialist and god knows what else.


I’m scared.


3 thoughts on “Whats happening to me

  1. Praying and fasting for you, this morning, for peace, courage, inspiration, and healing. Trusting you to God knowing God’s ways aren’t our ways.

  2. I commented on this yesterday through my phone but I think it got lost in cyber space. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. xx (hugs) I wish I could take some of the load you have to carry.

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