Night 1, I still had an entire sleeve of club crackers before bed, but I slept in bed, and did not have anything after the crackers, though I wanted some ice cream very badly. Its peppermint time of year.
Night 2 – I was planning all day long not to eat after 10pm and picturing my warm cozy bed. I pulled out the oreos at 7pm after dinner and had them WITH the kids. We all had 3 cookies while we sorted laundry and danced around like goofs. I wanted more, but not intensely, I never do in front of the kids. I had 2 more while they weren’t looking. I went back to work, supervising and training my overseas personnel has to bed done early morning and late at night. I finished around 11pm, had a glass of water, brushed my teeth, and got in bed. I really wanted my tv show – rewatching Gilmore Girls – but I felt no great need for food. I got in bed and fell asleep before 1 episode was done.
Sleep was twitchy and some dreams were disturbing, but no panic or screaming. Hubby is being really great, now that I talked to him again, about snuggling me when I’m awake and staying on his side of the bed while I’m sleeping. He just needed a reminder. I shouldn’t have tried to protect him and hide my feelings, but old habits die hard. I also switched sides of the bed. Light Bulb!! For years Hubby has been sleeping on the side by the alarm clock since he gets up earlier than I do. But I realized that due to my tiny bedroom with the bed against the wall and sloping ceiling, that I was feeling trapped in bed on my side. He’s fine with the change if it means I am back in bed and not the couch. Seems so simple stupid, but hey sometimes life is.
I woke up easily this morning, before my 7am alarm. Did some stretches and yoga before waking the kids. Being mindful, I noticed that my knee is hurting again, and I was actually a little hungry this morning, not all bloated. I had a protein bar to make it easy on me, I don’t usually eat breakfast, just coffee. It tasted way too sweet, but I still ate it. I hope to have real food eventually, but I’m taking baby steps and I know I’ll fail if I change too much at once.
I have scheduled wii fit time for my lunch break to reduce day stress. It is on my calendar and will chime at me. I’ve scheduled meetings around it.
I’m planning and picturing tonight in a positive way, mentally rehearsing what I want to happen. I want to eat a 1 serving dinner, read the kids a bedtime story, finish work , stretch and do some yoga, watch gilmore girls (Lorelai and her mom have a better relationship than I do with mine, wow) and fall sleep again in a warm bed.
Some things I was reading today: