Overwhelmed. Tired. Anxious. Frustrated. Sad. Sorry. Confused.

Not happy today. Overwhelmed. Tired. Anxious. Frustrated. Sad. Sorry. Confused.

Overwhelmed by how many tasks I must manage daily that seem to be solely up to me.

Tired of always waiting on Hubby to be ready to talk or deal with something that is on my mind or needs done.

Anxious from all the activities I must do and ‘try’ to enjoy even though I don’t. (Went to a pro basketball game – Terrible, the crowd, the noise, the smells, jumping out of my skin with each speaker blast, not caring about a ball thrown around, not understanding the people around me with red and blue hair screaming with excitement about a ball, its just a ball, boredom mixed with overstimulation – just terrible)

Frustrated by going round and round with the same conversations/disagreements with Hubby and getting no where.

Sad that he doesn’t seem to have the same goals as me or think that mine are important, realistic, or even worth talking about it.

Sorry that he feels attacked whenever I try to talk to him. I’m not trying to do this and don’t know how to change.

Confused that he thinks I am nasty every time I open my mouth, and yet he loves me anyway. How can he say I am so terrible to him and yet still want me here, but doesn’t want to ever talk about it? I don’t understand.

Not sure this has anything to do with my past or PTSD. I think it is a typical marriage problem.


8 thoughts on “Overwhelmed. Tired. Anxious. Frustrated. Sad. Sorry. Confused.

  1. (Hugs). Your family had just come through a really trying time. Maybe it’s just a blip due to stress let down? (Now that things seem to be better for your little guy?). D and I get snippy after stress storms have passed … All those original little things that used to annoy you now do so ten times over. This weekend, I can’t even be in the room while the boys are eating. Their chewing is making me want to rip my hair out.

    The things that don’t work between you will always be there. They just seem more tolerable when you’re not currently being annoyed by them. (My two cents).

    For the record, you’re maybe a little
    More sensitive than usual, but I think hubby plays a real role here .. It’s not just the PTSD playing games with you. Xx

    • This is really quite insightful. As life returns to normal, our typical conversations resume. When we were in crisis mode, these little things didn’t matter and weren’t discussed. Now the crisis seems to be over, so I am back to ‘how can we improve __________” which always starts a fight for some reason. It makes me want to stop including him and just do what I want without his opinion, which strangely I think he would prefer. But then I feel hurt that he doesn’t want to tackle these things as a team, so I get stuck.

      • Oh I hear you loud and clear. D and I have the same stalemate issues that go round and round…no matter how we approach them they never quite get put to rest. Be gentle with you, my friend. You have been heroic in your efforts to hold it all together for your son and children….now you need to tend to you. I’m sure it’s annoying as anything that the sensitive, capable man who engaged so well in a crisis can’t seem to do the same for you right now. xox

  2. Maybe part of normal marriage communication.

    Question, why go to game? Though I love basketball, I will rarely go to games for just the reason you stated. The crowds are too much.

    Hang in my friend. Try writing a note to yourself and to hubby. A loving one!

    • My daughter’s choir got to sing the national anthem on the court before the game. I had never been to a pro basketball game before in my life, and so we wanted to see my girl, and experience something new. It was a great experience for my daughter and so glad I was able to be there for her. Next time I will pass on the game itself though.

      Your note is a great idea, but I am having trouble finding loving words for myself or for hubby right now.

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