I do believe in fate, destiny, and that things happen for a reason – to a certain degree. I don’t believe in God as a person as he is often described in church. I do believe in an amazing, powerful force, an energy, that keeps the universe together. (I’m not sure if this is related to my childhood crush on Hans Solo or not) I believe in the balance, and that you get back what you put out. When you listen to the universe, it listens to you. I guess that is how prayer works in my mind, all that positive energy working together. I don’t think it matters who you pray to, I accept all religions, all deities, all forces, whatever feels right for you is fine with me. I am not a Christian, I am a human. I feel connected to all other humans and completely understand that everyone needs to have their own way to feed their spiritual side.
Many things have happened in my life that when you step back, it all makes sense. Those coincidences, those woah moments in life happen when you put yourself out there and take risks. I have many examples I could provide; my change of majors and degree prepared me for raising my kids, losing my job 10 years ago so I could be a stay at home mom, my promotion being denied so I had time to advance my art career instead, my marriage to the one person that is strong enough to continue loving me every time I push him away, the preschool adding a longer program right when I needed to work more hours, and so many others. But I’m going to focus on a recent and important example here.
Remember my post The Universe is Laughing at Me? Well, I understand now. That was not just a small world coincidence. I have the opportunity to help that little girl. I have tears in my eyes right now, and I’m trembling, because this is so amazing.
I have gotten to know Patty’s father and grandparents at the bus stop fairly well and chatting when our kids play together. They are really good people. I did not feel any of the anger from them like I did from Patty’s mother. I just feel confusion and heartbreak. Patty’s father told me that Patty’s mother left him suddenly, just announced she had a boyfriend and left. He told me that this boyfriend is a pedophile, an older man that molested Patty’s mother when she was 15 and has now come back into her life. (Sigh, so sad) I sensed the worry in his voice, both for his wife, who he obviously still loves, and for his daughter. I can only guess that if this older man is truly a pedophile, then he is a snake charming sociopath and has Patty’s mother under his spell, or under his power by force, fear, or some other tool from the sociopath toolbox. They are master manipulators. Patty’s father told me he does not recognize his wife now, that she is not the woman he married, and that even a few months ago they were so in love and planning to have a second child. And then this other man returns, and she leaves him and her daughter to run away with him, without looking back. He is devastated and picking up the pieces, staying strong for his daughter, but also wants to help his wife, but she doesn’t want help or to even talk to them. After 2 months away without a single phone call, she only sees her daughter when they threaten to pin her with child support.
Today Patty’s Grandma asked me if I would mind speaking on behalf of them to settle the custody and living arrangements and allow Patty to continue living here with them. She said the attorney will call me and ask me questions about Patty, does she seem safe, happy, cared for, clean, well-fed, etc. I said Yes, of course. I don’t know everything, but I will answer what I do know honestly. I know Patty’s Dad and grandparents are doing the best they can for her and love her and want her safe.
So I have the chance to help keep a little girl out of a pedophile’s home. Wow. Yes I can do that.
The Universe is not laughing at me. The Universe is embracing me.