Was Hanging by a Thread

I was catching up on my favorite show, So You Think You Can Dance, when I was moved to tears by this amazing song and performance. I don’t think I’ve ever heard this song before. It is so beautiful, so powerful. It hit me like some of Tori Amos’s songs do – it speaks to my heart and soul and commands my attention. The song itself is heart-breakingly lovely, but watching these talented dancers tell the story of this song gave me chills along with the tears.

How is it I don’t know Jann Arden? Well, that’s what I get for loving Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, Rush, Violent Femmes, Pearl Jam, Aerosmith, etc. I did not like many ‘pretty’ songs in high school, because my thoughts and moods were rarely pretty. I found them irritating.  I loved, and still do love, Morphine, James, and Yngwie and Joe Satriani for my quiet times. And Bare Naked ladies and They Might be Giants for my silly moods. I think I was way too busy with depression, 3 jobs, and an overloaded course load to  notice new music in college, except maybe Smash Mouth and ChumbaWumba. So glad I discovered Jann now.

I have been the girl with a heart hanging by a thread. I have been there – unable to look up or act on my own, unable to hope for a sweet life ahead. I gave up once, and dangled dangerously on the brink of existence. And oh have I cried. The emotion felt in her voice when Jann sings the word ‘cry’ is unreal.

 

JANN ARDEN

Hanging By A Thread Lyrics

When I cry I close my eyes
And every tear falls down inside
And I pray with all my might
That I will find my heart in someone’s arms
When I cry, cry

When I cry, when I am sad
I think of every awful thing I ever did
Oh, when I cry, there is no love
No there is nothing that can comfort me enough
When I cry, cry, cry

All the salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to
My hands are barely holdin’ up my head

I am so tired of lookin’ at my feet
All the secrets that I keep
My heart is barely hangin’ by a thread
Hangin’ by a thread

Oh, look at me, at all I’ve done
I’ve lost so many things that I so dearly loved
I lost my soul, I lost my pride
Oh, I lost any hope of having a sweet life
So I cry, cry, cry

All salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to
My hands are barely holdin’ up my head

I am so tired of lookin’ at my feet
All the secrets that I keep
My heart is barely hangin’ by a thread
Hangin’ by a thread

I miss you all
I wish I was with you now
I wish I was
Lyrics from <a href=”http://www.elyrics.net”>eLyrics.net</a&gt;

I see symbolism in so many ways in this performance, and kind of all at once in those different ways. I saw myself tied to my past, caught up in the pain of abuse.  I see the one lifting her up as my husband, my own inner self, my therapist, my blogging friends, and even God or an angel. So many hands have given me strength over the years.

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