What a great post! I agree with all of these. Marriage and love require work, growth and courage. And I am so happy that I am writing this as a still-married-woman, not a divorced one. I really thought that my marriage was doomed more than once, but neither of us were ready to give up.
My marriage was missing many of the items from Scott’s list for way too many years. We were surviving in our marriage by just going through the motions and somehow getting through each day, But we were distant, had stopped courting each other, were not forgiving each other or ourselves for past hurts, and were definitely not growing together.
It has been a bumpy road, but I am so happy that we are working together and implementing many of the items in this list and we are growing closer and learning to trust, cherish, and protect each other. I see Hubby as an ally now, someone I can lean on, but also someone I need to support and accept. We take care of each other to show love, not out of obligation or guilt.
Sometimes I get over-anxious and want us to be perfect NOW. He reminds me that we need time, and that sometimes we need to just be us without working on something and without the need to change anything just for a bit. But I love change! But I am learning to be more patient.
And most of all – we choose love. Love is a choice, an action, a way of life – not just a feeling.
I love you Hubby, we’re doing great, thanks for staying with me on this journey.