I think it is safe to say I have changed more things in my life than I have kept the same in the past year.
I have changed my view . . .
- of myself as a victim into a view of myself as a powerful force
- of myself as the cause of all problems and instead pause and consider if the guilt/shame really belongs
- of my hubby as a place to lay blame to a place to share love
- of sex from a negative, scary, use of power/control to something beautiful and soulful
- of my purpose in life from a meaningless housewife with days full of drudgery to a vibrant go-getter making my dreams come true
- literally in my own home. The cluttered, chaotic piles of randomness are being transformed into tidy, useful, labeled areas that can be used peacefully and purposefully.
- literally in my yard. I have hired neighborhood kids to remove monstrous weeds.
- of the world as a lost cause with only pain to offer to one full of hope and excitement. (most days-depression, PTSD flashbacks, and shame still attack, but I get right back out of it now)
- of my role as a mom from one who selflessly serves to one who demonstrates healthy habits and teaches responsibility
- of fears being shameful faults to hide into a need to face each fear and attack them
- that my own feelings don’t matter to taking care of myself and treating myself with love and kindness
I can’t wait to see what else I can do!
Now I have Michael Jackson in my head, just need to change a few words from “Man in the Mirror”.
I’m Starting With The woman In
I’m Asking her To Change
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,