Out of the Mouths of Psychopaths

My father decided to break the silence and sent me one of his typical manipulative emails. I’m trying to figure out my reactions at getting a direct message from him after years of no communication of any type. But first, here is his entire email. Let’s dissect it, I would love to hear any thoughts from anyone. I used to get my inbox flooded with these types of messages until I was bale to slowly push him out of my life. These used to tear me apart, making me feel guilty and hate myself. No more. Now I see his feeble attempts as laughable.

————————————————————————————————————–

“Hi there.

 

No, nothing bad to report. Usually that is the case when it’s been a long gap between communicating times.

 

I attended a wedding anniversary dinner and one of my nieces inquired about you.  I explained you choose a distant and

adversarial relationship and so I rarely hear much at all and really can’t say much with confidence. But, it served to bring you forward

to the front memory lobes so while you are there, I will wish you the belated best for Mother’s Day and hope all is well at your dwelling and such.

 

Till next time…………”

—————————————————————————————————————————-

My first reaction, was to scrunch my eyebrows, cock my head, laugh out loud and say “What the F***”

I mean, really, what the F***? He will never change. Never.

Aww, was it awkward to explain at dinner why I don’t talk to you? Did they eat up your cover story that I have “chosen” to be “distant and adversarial” after realizing the full effects of you molesting and belittling me for so many years? Was that easier than admitting that you chose to steal your precious daughter’s innocence and self worth? Did you wonder if they know the truth? Because they do. They all know. I hope you enjoyed your dinner and that thinking of the pain you have caused me didn’t cause you too much trouble. I do hope I don’t linger too long in your “frontal lobes”, because I don’t belong there.

Really, who talks like this? Are you trying to sound smart here? Or attempting a light-hearted approach? Well, you’d need a heart for that, so way off. Way off.

Are you trying to say that if only I wasn’t so difficult, then we could have a nice relationship? Or are you reaching out to me now because you are bored now that my brothers won’t let you trample on them any more? Have you run out of souls to crush and thought mine might have healed enough for you to crush again? Well too bad. You have lost your power. Gone. Nada. We can all see through you now. Because you are nothing.

And there is no next time. You will not be hearing from me. Ever. Enjoy the rest of your sadistic, psychopathic existence as only someone with no conscience can. You are nothing to me. I am only posting this email to capture my reactions and serve as educational material to anyone who wants to understand a psychopath.

Did I miss anything?

 

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20 thoughts on “Out of the Mouths of Psychopaths

  1. I am so impressed with your response. You are a strong individual. My mom had borderline personality disorder, it too was hell. Certainly not the same as you, but it left me a tattered soul. Stay strong, you are a great example to us all.

  2. Pingback: Out of the Mouths of Psychopaths | Deaep

  3. Wow… my NM could have written that and has with only slightly different wording. It wasn’t about you; it was all about him. Nope. Hasn’t changed. What’s cool is I thought the same things you did! I know you’re making progress so it means so am I! Awesome! (I created a folder titled “insanity.” All of NM’s emails go in there. Why do I keep them? I want evidence. I may not need it but just in case…) Good for you!!

    • A bit sad, but I understand and love your insanity folder. I have also kept some of letters, and go over them periodically to check my reactions with my therapist. I used to believe every word my father spoke or wrote. I used to hang on every word, letting him destroy me. Now those words didn’t even get in, they seriously made me laugh, snort and almost feel joy that I am now untouchable by him. My therapist thinks he may try to make amends with his diminishing health, to feel better about himself. She thinks he may even apologize, fearing hell otherwise. She just wants me to be prepared for it. Maybe this email is the start of that, I don’t know. But I am so happy you can see the progress in yourself. Knowing how I used to respond, I am amazed at my progress, that I remain strong under attack. I’m actually happy he sent this, just to test my new skills and see that I am in fact strong, and he is now powerless. It is a bit dizzying to think of that.

  4. I snorted when I read that e-mail. I cheered when I read your emotional response to it.

    Really, who knows what is inside of his sick / twisted mind. Perhaps even he doesn’t know, I have no doubt he hasn’t explored his own mind closely enough to understand why he is such an soul sucking, life destroying Azzhat. I am glad you aren’t trying to understand either.

    I hope you got up and danced yourself around the house knowing this was a true victory.

    • I’ve wondered about that, if he ever looks inward and examines the filth in there. I know that he does, or did, because he told my oldest brother one time that he hoped my brother would not have the same affliction. At the time my brother was a fairly new father himself, with 2 little daughters and my brother had just found out what my father had done to me over the years. So yes, at least at some point, nearly 20 years, he looked inward and hoped his son would not be like him.

      I love Azzhat, made me laugh. Might be my new favorite term!

      And yes I did dance. 🙂

  5. *hugs you!* I love it when you speak your mind.

    What a ridiculous email for him to have sent. That reminds me so much of my foster father who got unreasonably angry when I didn’t show enough enthusiasm or thanks for his attention/time. When he visited me he would always bring groceries (guilt, I suppose). I had to thank him, my husband had to thank him, I had to also thank him after dinner and, once more before they left. A phone call made to their home only minutes after their departure to leave another thank you on their voicemail was always a good way to score bonus points. *sigh*

    Your dad’s words remind me of that ^

  6. Ughhhh, good for you, not letting it eat away at you! My mother and my father-in-law (who creepily share the same birthdate) both talk like this. In fact, they chat and feed each others’ insanities, which get unleashed on us much like this. Then my mother turns around and shares her Xanax and dinner with my child-molester-brother.

    • Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you understand. I do think we all have the choice and the power to rise above our past. It is never an easy decision when we seem to have to choose between protecting ourself and turning our backs on toxic family members.

  7. Wow…what’s so weird is seeing those words in the email. I’m like – are they all so bloody thick they can’t think of anything new to say?! I’ve seen those words before!! And lost count of the times I’ve found myself weeping on the floor, entangled in chains of guilt that don’t belong to me…

    Thank you so much for showing me how to be strong when I get those type of emails!! Your response was awesome!! Massive well done for you for your inner flame…

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