He Loves Me Just As I Am – An Air Supply Kind of Day

How do you show your husband you love him? You know Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean that much to him. Not much more than any other day anyway. My man doesn’t get caught up in expectations of gifts and trinkets – like I used to. Last year at this time, I wasn’t sure anyone loved me, and I surely did not love myself. And when Hubby neglected to get fantastic gifts for me, it was proof to my warped sense of reality that he really did not love me – when in truth, he has been the only person that ever truly loved me. I see this now. And I don’t need flowers or chocolates to prove anything. (I do appreciate them though!)

Love isn’t about proof. If you look for proof of lack of love – you will find it. Once you believe in yourself, believe someone can love you, then the love is just there, and you realize it has always been there, even when he forgot to get you flowers.

Lily and Rose

Lily and Rose (Photo credit: Mark Wheadon)

So after going to bed together early last evening, letting our love turn into passion, then spending all night in his warm embrace, Hubby gets up at 5am to let out the dog, and somehow sneaks in  a beautiful bunch of flowers, hiding in his car, and lovingly arranged them in the vase he got me our first year together. I could just make out the dim silhouette of them on my dresser in the bedroom. Roses and lilies – just like our wedding flowers. (I’d like to point out that the blossoms I use as my personal image on the right is alstroemeria, a delicate little lily that he used to fill in that vase quite often our first year together. I never questioned what to use as my identifier here when I created this blog, and never thought how it was so entwined with him before) He apologized that they may have frozen in the car overnight, but he was a bit distracted last night ( blush ;0) and didn’t get a chance to get back out there and hopes they open up for me. He handed me one slightly frozen lily while I was still in bed, and I was nearly moved to tears. This man I have, is so sweet, so gentle with me, so understanding, so completely wonderful. And trying SO hard to make me believe he loves me. We’re not perfect, because I have grown up enough to know that perfect isn’t real. But my husband, our love – that is real, and all that I need. And I’m no longer afraid to need him. I told him so this morning, and I have never meant anything more. I’m ready to need him, and accept his love for me, and show my love for him too. I’m so happy I get another 40 years or more of this life to show him I love him.

I never know what to get this man for Valentine’s Day, everything seems so girly and unimportant to him. So today, I declare to be an Air Supply day and dedicate some love songs written before cell phones and sexting, and certainly before shawty was getting low. Back when love was enough to sell a song. Before anyone had to go to Jared’s to be a good husband. These songs were written when Hubby and I were young, and before we met, before we even dreamed of each other, and yet, they could have been written just for us. The power of music!

I’ll include some lyrics here because it says exactly what is on my mind. Thank you Air Supply for so beautifully capturing my feelings.

Parts of Just As I Am

I’ve had a lot of big dreams
I’ve made a lot of bad moves
I know you could walk away
But you never do

I’m not easy to understand
But you hold out your hand

You say you want me, need me
Love me baby
Just as I am, just as I am

I want to love forever
To keep our world together
And be the best that I can be
Baby, every time the world
Caves in on me
You say you want me, need me
Love me baby
Just as I am, just as I am

Parts of I Can Wait Forever

When it looked as though my life was wrong,
You took my love and gave it somewhere to belong.
I’ll be here when hope is out of sight.
I just wish that I was next to you tonight.
And oh, I’ll be reaching for you even though
You’ll be somewhere else, my love.
We’ll go like a bird on its way back home.
I could never let you go.
And I just want you to know…

Parts of Someone Who Believes In You

When there’s a dark storm on your horizon
And you think you can’t get through it
Just put your hand in my hand
And I’ll show you how to do it

When the future looks uncertain
You can count on me to be there
And when your heart and soul are hurtin’
Just look and you’ll see me there

Just follow where I lead
I’ll give you what you need
A love that’s always true
And someone who believes in you

So when you’re searching for that rainbow
I will help you find it
And when a mountain stands before you
I will help you climb it

I’ll give you what you need
And I’ll tell you something else
You’ll start believing in yourself
It’s an easy thing to do
When you have someone who believes in you

Here’s a link to a poem I wrote in June that fits today’s feelings too: For all Eternity


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