Folding Fitted Sheets and Other Mysteries

Life is full of mysteries. So many things to learn as we travel our path. I have accepted who I am currently, and what I can do currently. I have set some short and some long term goals. Never, ever, did I set a goal for folding a fitted sheet. I have tried, and do try each time they are laundered, to make sense of the slippery, puffy fabric. And each time, I mutter “good enough” as I smush the unruly things onto a hidden shelf in the closet.

Folding sheets is one the myriad of mysterious tasks I have seen accomplished on TV and often wonder if it is real. Like having your entire house clean all at once.  Or a garden with anything other than weeds. Or a clear desktop. Or an empty sink. Or a flat tummy with no stretch marks. And the one that I will never understand – the dinner party – with fancy plate settings, several courses, various stemware and silver. Do adults really do this? Does some poor hostess slave for days to create this table and the meals, and then serve her guests without one little hair out of place?  And her shoes match her dress and the decor? and Or is it just a Martha Stewart myth to make the rest of us feel inferior and buy more of her products?

Our Candlelit Table

This will never be seen in my house (Photo credit: Dinner Series)

I can make lovely, elaborate origami creatures. I can solve a Rubik’s Cube. I can make delicate meringue cookies. I can put pants, socks and matching shoes, and tie the shoes on a squirming toddler. But I can’t fold fabric into squares. Retail workers follow me around, refolding everything I touch.  Opening my sock drawer is like opening those surprise cans of worms. So I had to laugh when my friend posted this on facebook today. I have not tried it yet. I have not gone to the shelf of oddly misshapen balls of sheets that mocked me as I attempted to show them who is boss. They are the boss of me. Always have been. We have had this agreement, where they get to live carefree on the shelf as long as they don’t tell anyone.

But no more. Watch out Twin sheets, you will be tamed. Queen sheets? Well, I’m not getting ahead of myself. There’s always next year.




11 thoughts on “Folding Fitted Sheets and Other Mysteries

  1. Isn’t is funny how those little things in life can be so hard to get right. Am impressed with your origami creatures (I can’t even make a paper airplane) and your Rubik’s cube solving (I can do only one side) and your delicate meringue cookies ( mine are like rocks) !
    And I don’t fold my sheets. I roll them 🙂

    • Thanks for sharing, this made me laugh! And made feel the need to clarify: I have not made any origami creatures since baby 2 was born, I only solved the Rubik’s cube once and it took about 3 hours, and I followed a guide. I have not made the cookies since my daughter’s first grade birthday party where I actually invited her entire class and I felt the need to impress. We went to a local park, not my house. Her birthday is near Halloween, so I piled up the meringue and added little gel eyes to look like ghosts. They were so delicate that one bite and they exploded! Exploding ghosts are a must for any party. But I have not made them in a few years. And I sort of roll, lump and tuck my sheets away. But not for long, I’m really going to try this new technique – someday.

  2. Did this lady really say, “One of the biggest challenges you’re going to face in your life is how to fold a fitted sheet….”? Either she’s had a really easy life, or her physician has her so heavily medicated that folding sheets has become too big an obstacle for her 🙂

    • LOL, I was so focused on the technique I missed her saying that. Wow, yes, sheets are tough, but no, not exactly up there on the list of my life’s challenges. But did you see how neat and straight she made them? I am impressed. Easily, obviously 🙂

      • I’ll admit, she does know how to fold a mean sheet. She made it look so easy that I had to go upstairs to my linen closet and refold one of my fitted sheets to see if I could do it. When I was done, mine looked nothing like hers. Wasn’t even close.

        I think what the video edited out was all the times she had to stop the camera to wrestle with the sheet, or yell and curse whenever it came out wrong. That perfect sheet actually took her 42 takes to get right 😀

  3. This really does work. I use it. A friend taught it to me. I’ve done the dinner party. It is something that should only be done if you find it enjoyable. I’ve tried throwing regular parties and failed miserably, as in, no one showed up. It was embarrassing. A lot of those dinner parties are catered. The exploding ghosts sound like so much fun!

  4. Lmao. Folding fitted sheets is a bane of my existence! I’ve given up — I just wash the ones on the bed and put them back on. Or, if I can’t wait or just want to use a different set of sheets, they stay in a ball in the laundry basket straight from the dryer.

  5. I can fold the sheets but can’t make meringue anything. I made meringue that could have beat a Frisbee or something that would do well in a zombies movie. Now I do them perfectly purchased at Marie Calendar’s bakery. Sometimes it is OK to let someone else do it. 🙂

  6. I don’t worry about the folding thing. I stick the corners together and roll them up. Since they go into a great big chest at the foot of the bed the rolls work well. Not folding, ever.

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