Working When You Want to Sleep

What keeps you going? How do you keep going, get up and work, when your body is sore, tired, achy and begging for sleep? Where do we find the strength to do what we must every day?

I ask Hubby this often. He amazes me. He inspires me. Every day he is up before the sun, dressed in an uncomfortable fire proof uniform, steel toe boots, and heads off to work with a smile and kiss for me. He does not get paid nearly enough, but he doesn’t let him get him down, he just puts in overtime to make up the difference. His feet hurt from 12 hrs a day on his feet. His back hurts from lifting heavy objects. His head hurts from lack of sleep. But he has never called off of work. See? Amazing.

I work from home. I don’t have to even get dressed to shuffle over to my computer. I can sit or stand, or take my laptop to the recliner, or even outside or to the library. I have project deadlines, and some scheduled meetings, otherwise my day is entirely up to me. I can stop and eat, or even lay down if I want – though the clock keeps ticking if I do. I watch the kids and manage the house as well. It can be hard to concentrate, but it is not so hard on my body like what Hubby does every day. I force myself on to the treadmill to get my blood moving.

I have it so good, and yet it is so hard. I always feel like I am not doing enough. Like I’m home all day, why didn’t more get done? Why am I so tired? Why don’t I have the same constitution as Hubby to just get up and work with a smile? Why do some people “just do it” and others have to battle ourselves into submission, daily, hourly?

Today one kiddo is home sick from school, and the youngest has no preschool on Friday. Trying to keep the youngest off of the sickest to hopefully keep him safe from the germs, making more tea, checking for fevers, giving comfort along with cough medicine, wondering if a doctor needs called or we should ride this one out. I have the same cold, got it from the other kiddo who was home earlier in the week. Nothing major, but not sleeping well on top of being mommy, wifey, employee and home nurse too has me extra tired.

So I dig in, channel my inner Dory, and “just keep swimming, swimming” through another day of not getting it all done. And instead of thinking poor me, I think how can I make kiddo feel better, and Hubby feel appreciated. I think of what we can do with the bigger paycheck, so I get my work done too. I can sleep when the kids are grown up, right? I can wait. But oh my does that bed look soft and warm when I pass by.

bed

Stop calling me, I have work to do (Photo credit: Quiet Here)

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4 thoughts on “Working When You Want to Sleep

  1. This is a lovely post. You work so hard too! Never feel under appreciated, remember you do more than just your employed job.
    Good on your Hubby though for going to work with a smile every day. I know I struggle to when I look out the window and it’s still dark!
    Thank you for sharing this, and the pingback.

    🙂

  2. I think perhaps the struggle lies in comparing apples and oranges. Your hubby is dealing with a lot of physical activity. He has also learned a certain work ethic. You on the other hand are dealing with a lot of emotional activity. Too often the emotional aspect is demeaned or ignored. Both require energy. Neither is more valid than the other, simply different. Never underestimate the energy required to keep up with children all day. I wonder if your hubby walked by the bed on a regular basis all day he’d be tempted too. 🙂

    • Yes emotional energy is valid. I wasn’t trying to demean myself here, but to show appreciation for Hubby. But really I think you heard I still have some guilt in this area. Because I do struggle to put in all those hours, and when I did have an outside of the home job, I called off so many times, so many mornings, until I just couldn’t go back. I know, I know, have to let that go. Wasn’t aware it was still in there, the feeling of failing that job, and how it set us back financially for so many years.

      • I think that’s more a real world problem than exclusive to survivors. The money you bring in is something measurable and something the world values far more highly than raising responsible children. Otherwise, stay-at-home moms wouldn’t be maligned so often.

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