Finally dragged my tired, overwhelmed butt into the doctor for a check up for this cyclical fatigue I get. I’ve been paying more attention and it seems to come on suddenly, leaving me cold, unable to think, and I just have to lie down. Usually I fall asleep for a bit and wake up feeling mostly better.
Dr sent me home with a glucose meter. Whatever, I’ll try it, I was thinking, but my blood sugar has always been fine, even with those nasty pregnancy tests.
So I was a bit surprised when I checked my glucose this morning after having breakfast of waffle and milk, getting tired, napping a bit, and my number was 65. Crap! It should have been over 100 after eating like that. I have never before checked my sugar during a feeling crappy episode. But crap crap crap.
So called the doctor with the info, and got the entirely not reassuring “err, ohhh, nooo, ummm” response. Sounds like reactive hypoglycemia, she says. She tells me to eat lots of protein, and to have more protein than carbs, never carbs alone, and come in tomorrow for more tests to check insulin levels. Yippee!
Now see, the funny part here, is how hard I have been trying to reduce sugar in my diet, I was a sugar fiend all my life. Has my recent lack of constant sugar uncovered the reason I craved the sugar? Or has my years of sugar abuse actually caused damage? I know, don’t worsenalize or jump to conclusions, and definitely do not read about pancreatic cancer on WebMD.
In one way I am hopeful we may have found a reason, other than depression, for feeling like crap so often. But I am fearful for the many tests I am sure will be ordered and the costs of them too. But I’m not obsessing, just trying to gather information to make good decisons. I did cry a little at first, I’m scared. But I know I will handle whatever this is too.
I’m not sure where my marriage stands. We now have open communication, and no yelling whatsoever. I have forgiven him and I’m ready to attempt a fresh start and see if I can fall in love with him. Husband is devastated and seems committed to becoming a better man. I have never seen him like this. He is working so hard and I feel love emanating from his every pore for me and kids now, just wish I could return it. He said he feels now that it is one-sided and he prays I can stay long enough for it to develop.
So here I am. Just tired of handling and ready to just live. Does that ever happen? Or is that the fantasy? Maybe life is just a series of obstacles. Oh well then. Bring it on. I can handle it.
- Hypoglycemia Signs And Symptoms (mademan.com)