My brain has set up some really doable goals. Lots of little chunks of action to lead to the final goal. My brain is super excited and can’t wait to check something off that list. My body won’t listen.
I am so tired again. Yes, I did stay up too late watching TV. Yes I did pig out with chocolate ice cream AND potato chips. Yes I did sleep in this morning and forget to take a kid to preschool. Yes he did cry. Yes I didn’t get breakfast until lunch time. Yes my preschooler got his own snacks today. Yes I feel a bit guilty, but mostly I just feel tired. Where did this tired come from?
My husband is away this week on business, so everything here is up to me. I don’t feel worried about this, but could it affect me anyway?
I just finished a super stressful go-go-go couple of weeks where I did not get this tired. Did I stop rushing about and now I can’t get going again?
Did I reach some hormonal or chemical low point in this strange cycling depression?
I’m too tired to be frustrated today, that will hit me in a few days when I look back and see all the time I wasted.
It is gorgeous outside and my garden is calling for help. My brain hears the call, but my body won’t answer it.
My oldest wants to work on a school project together with a buddy. She wants me to call and ask the mom if she can go over. I keep staring at the number. It looks all jumbled, and I don’t want to call. My brain says push the buttons, say hello. My body says that is too difficult.
I made 3 pots of coffee today, but only had 2 sips, each full cup gets dumped out as I discover it cold and forgotten. I burned the lunch, somehow distracted while I stood in front of the skillet the whole time. I had set the flame to high.
I feel completely disconnected, like I’m not in this world. Maybe I’m not. Maybe my spirit gets so bored with being a housewife that it actually takes off occasionally, and leaves me feeling tired and empty. Maybe Brain and body don’t work together unless the spirit is there.
Maybe I’m really just a brain in a jar and I have been unplugged from the matrix. Plug me back in Keanu!