I am completely unsneaky. I am what I am. I say what I mean. And I am very trusting that others are like this too, even when I have direct evidence to the contrary.
I have a sis-in-law that I invited her family to my son’s birthday party, coming soon. I thought ahead to call her to find a good time/day to make sure she and the cousins could come, weeks ago. Sent invitations based on the time she told me.
Spoke to brother-in-law last night, he had never heard about the party. So I am left to assume she wasn’t going to tell him, and was likely going to cancel with me last minute – again.This kind of crap is very hurtful and I don’t know what to do with it, other than be hurt. It felt like she reached through the phone and punched me.
It was especially hurtful since I sent invites to son’s whole class, and not a one has responded – yes or no. Not even one out of 14 invitations. I’m not friends with the parents, just a wave hi relationship with them, so I don’t call them up to see why, though I’m thinking that the day I chose based on sis-in-law’s request, Sunday, may not have been the best for my parochial small town. I’m hoping someone, anyone, will show up from his class unannounced and surprise us, and if they don’t, that he won’t be too sad. Why can’t they RSVP? What happened to manners? Am I seriously not worth the phone call to them? Or did none of the kindergarteners safely get the invites home to the parents? I am just amazed.
I worry again that my own social issues and this darned small town attitude is hurting my kids socially. But I feel powerless to do anything except reach out to them, and hope and wait.
I also worry about being judged by several sis-in-laws (if they come) that only cousins are at the party. They both take huge pride in their kids’ popularity. My kids are well-liked, and all still in lower elementary school, so they don’t have bff’s yet. I wait for a little friend to call and ask for them, but it doesn’t happen.
It also seems my sis-in-law is reacting out of jealousy, that Grandma will be attending the party, but was unable to go to her son’s tournament game.So of course it makes sense to punish the children when upset with Grandma. Geez.
So I know my son will have a special day, and will likely be unaware of the undercurrents, but I will be aware, and holding my head above them.
- Blogs: Peter Post on RSVP no-shows (boston.com)
- 4th birthday party fun (growingmyfamilytree.wordpress.com)
- Can I get an Amen?… People who don’t RSVP suck. (thinkandponder.com)