Free to feel it all


I found this at one of my favorite websites Positively Positive

I know that I am strong. I know everything will work out. I know it is ok to be confused and frustrated too. If your life is never confusing or frustrating, you may not be providing yourself enough room for growth and challenge.

To me, being healthy, means acknowledging every emotion, thought, and whim I may have. Sometimes my thoughts are dark and bleak. Sometimes they are beautiful. Sometimes they are joyous. Sometimes they are funny.

For years I had put on a happy face, and refused to listen to what I judged to be imperfect thoughts. I shoved them down and never spoke of them, never wrote of them – I denied their existence. Don’t worry, be happy, Hakuna Matata, nothing is wrong – ever.

emotion iconBut now I know the beauty of being human, is living in the moment – no matter what that moment may be. Experience, immerse, react, just live and be.

I don’t need to be completely positive every second of every day to have a healthy outlook. I have a dog to do that. I won’t be needy, sad and mysterious all of the time. I have a cat for that. I won’t always be excited, chattering, running around crazily. I watch the squirrels for that. Enough, you get the point. Sometimes we are unsure. Being unsure does not mean I will hide under the covers until I am sure. It just means that I will go on being the best me I can be until the unsure part of life becomes more clear.

Thoughts are transient. No substance. Thin air. And yet they must be heard. It’s ok to throw them out, but just like in creative brainstorming, you accept every thought as valid until round 2 or 3 or 10.

And I may feel completely different about someone or something in a an hour, a day, a week. But the new feeling does not erase the previous one. Instead they work together, weaving an intricate, complicated mash of feelings. At least that is how it is for me. And possibly for a lot of women. We are wonderfully complicated beings.

For example – I love my job, and feel blessed to have something that works around my family’s needs, and I’m grateful to have a job at all when so many don’t. But I don’t love my job every second of every day. Sometimes I am ready to quit, fed up with BS and tedious, boring inefficiencies. I don’t ignore those thoughts, but I also don’t quit. When I weigh the stability of my paycheck with the unknown of starting something new right now, I opt to go after my dreams slowly and steadily so my family does not have to live without my income. Starving artist may be a romantic notion, but sounds like a crummy way to live.

Every feeling is worth feeling deeply. It is a part of being the beautiful humans that we are.




8 thoughts on “Free to feel it all

  1. I loved the dog, cat, and squirrel! LOL! I’m also learning to embrace all my feelings. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to be anything but perfectly pleasant at all times, no matter what. I finally learned that ignoring certain emotions didn’t make them go away. Ignoring them did make it impossible for me to understand, embrace, work through, change or do anything with them. Embracing them all makes life richer and fuller and interestingly enough increases the feelings of joy and wonder and happiness and contentment.

  2. I think you may have erroneously and unintentionally forgotten to mention the turtle, as in, “I won’t be stationary, and slow, and retreat back into my shell forever”. 🙂

    I wholeheartedly agree that sometimes how we feel about a particular thing can shift, and change, and we have to be willing to accept that. At one time in our life, perhaps our spirituality or our religion is the beginning and ending of every thought, and at other times, perhaps is sits on the back burner and acts as a coffee filter in which all our thoughts pass through, but it becomes stained and used up, and may need to be replaced before we can start fresh again.

    All of our feelings provide clues, and it is up to us to solve the mystery. Love the way you chose to illustrate the point, and how you gave yourself permission to feel. Really good stuff, and well written to boot. You are pretty awesome, aren’t you?

  3. Pingback: Spiritual Explorations « Invisible Shadow

  4. Pingback: I am (mostly) Enough, Embracing Vulnerability | Roots to Blossom

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