I realized this morning, I don’t need a yellow brick road. I already know which way to go. I may not take the most direct route, but I am absolutely getting closer to where I want to be.
I recently interviewed for a Supervisor position in my current workplace. After much stress and excitement, they called to let me down easy, they are offering the job to another candidate.
Did I lay down and cry? Did I burst into flame? Did I cease to exist? Did I get angry and curse them? No, none of those things. I thanked my manager for letting me know, and then called my friends to arrange a girls night out. That’s right, I have girls now, and I know how to use them. I explained I had a rough week, and needed a beer and a hug, and I got plenty of both!
Why did I turn to my girls and not my husband? Well, he was great, but no one listens like my girls. Hubby was a bit too sympathetic and kept telling me it was OK and he was proud of me for trying. My girls just said, wow, they are stupid not to choose you, and handed me a beer, and turned on a mindless movie. We chatted randomly, made fun of the movie, told stories, and generally did not talk about work at all. It was awesome!
And even though I wanted this position, I was completely shocked at my response. I was relieved. I am not really ready to change my life right now, and adjust to something new. Things are so good, better to keep it this way. But I’m also so glad I went for it, because now I have no regrets. And I had some great discussions with upper management and execs that could help me if other oppotunities come up in the future. Really this is the best scenario.
And now I’m off to the airport, headed to corporate headquarters again for the annual leadership conference. I’m up early, had coffee, and egg/avocado sandwich, read many inspiring blogs, and realized I am not in bed or on the couch. I am moving, and doing. I am living. I am not a failure, not even close. I’m not sure how this happened. And I have not even had one stray thought of canceling my trip. I used to struggle to get out of bed every single day. I used to have the phone in my hand, tempted to call off work, every single day. I can barely remember those thoughts now. I am no longer prisoner to my own negativity and pain.
So with the brains in my head, and the feet in my shoes, I will steer myself in any direction I choose.
Thanks Dr. Seuss, I get it now!
- Follow Your Yellow Brick Road. ~ Jessica Avila (elephantjournal.com)